Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Wonderful Wednesday #5

1. Catching up with my best friend. When I say catching up, I mean pouring our hearts out at 1am. I haven't seen her for so long, but today I got back from staying with her for a night. It was the best thing. We ate ridiculous amounts of food and chatted for hours and hours. When you don't see people that often you cut through all the small talk and get right to the big issues. We talked deep. I laughed more than I have for months. I told her everything and we're completely honest with each other. I needed that chat, these couple of days. Also how beautiful is she?

2. Getting post. So what I've kept a little bit quiet on what's going on in my life, but in the last 2 weeks I have had 2 very exciting letters. So here goes. At the beginning of this year I applied to University to do Primary Teaching. In the last couple of weeks I have been attending interviews and have been offered places at 2 different Unis. I still have 3 more interviews to go, but I now know that come September I will be going to study and I can't say how excited I am.

3. Brie, bacon and cranberry sauce toasted sandwiches. This is such an ultimate combination! Salty, smoky bacon, creamy cheese and sweet cranberries all oozing out of crunchy, toasty bread. My favourite ever toasted sandwich combo (my favourite sandwich is chicken and bacon for future reference). I spent a lunchtime with my mum chatting over toasted sandwiches as a reward for getting my accounts up to date.

4. Reading. Recently I've had more time to read. I love fiction, autobiographies well everything! It feels very luxurious to be able to take time to engross yourself in something so immensely. I love that I learn about people: about other cultures and views. I also read nonfiction and learning about the word and improving my knowledge is brilliant. When I was little I would read under the duvet with a torch when I was supposed to be asleep because I loved reading so much and nothing has changed except the time issues!

5. My first pilates experience... was painful! But oh so worth it. One of my county teams had a session with a good friend and I joined in. It was really tough, but I was impressed with how much my body could do and I'm thinking of finding a class. Also the girls were hilarious and we laughed all the way through the session. I'm not sure the instructor had ever had such an interesting group!

Wonderful Wednesday is the brainchild of the beautiful Sally at SallyTangle and you should rush over to see her happy moments as well as the other lovely ladies: MichelleNadine and Helen. Please do get involved by commenting or tweeting your #wonderfulwednesday.

Kate xx

Wednesday, 10 February 2016

Wonderful Wednesday #4

This week has been pretty darn super. I'm feeling a bubble of happiness in my core and I feel like the wind down in pace of life has been a major factor in this. I need time to recharge and reboot and it's helping immensely. I've mainly been organising lots of things for the future and getting my thoughts into a plan. It's given me a chance to do lots of things that I enjoy that have been on hold because I haven't had time for them. Plus spring is poking it's nose in and I always feel rejuvenated with the new growth in nature.

And without further ado let's plunge into wonderfulness...

1. An overnight stay. Having my own space to be. A double bed with crisp white sheets and being able to do things exactly when I wanted to. I also treated myself to a meal out. It's the first time I have had a meal in a restaurant on my own. Despite being really nosey and listening to the various conversations around me I actually got a lot of thinking and planning done. I felt really awkward to start with, but one pizza and a gooey brownie dessert later I felt much better. Also my observations mean that I'm pretty sure I could run that kitchen!

2. Exploring. I had a couple of hours exploring the city of Lincoln last week. I climbed Steep Hill and took in all the little shops along the way. There was everything from vintage clothes and artwork to maps and home wares. Once I reach the top I explored the castle and cathedral area. I love how different architecture stands in such close proximity. I just wish I'd had my sketchbook to record everything. I like to walk around new places in my own time. Without a map or a plan, but finding lots of interesting places along the way.

3. Spending time with my Grandma. Last Wednesday it was my Grandma's 82nd birthday. I really enjoying spending time with her and we chat about everything under the sun. For her birthday, I took her out for tea and cake in a local tearooms. Afterwards she took me to the shop she used to work in and then we took a walk around the castle gardens. She told me she hadn't walked around there since she used to eat her lunch there in her twenties. It was so lovely to hear stories of her youth and despite the wind being very forceful we had a thoroughly lovely time.

4. Being told I seemed confident. WOW! Now a month ago I'd never have thought someone would say this, but it made my day, week, month! I may have (whisper it) had an interview, but more to come on that...

5. Helping friends. My friend is off to India tomorrow for a 15 day trip to work in a nursery. On Monday night we spent hours packing and getting everything ready. This included all of the toys, books and clothes that she is taking with her for the nursery. She's really nervous, but this is going to be such an amazing experience and I'm so utterly proud of her.

Wonderful Wednesday is the brainchild of the beautiful Sally at SallyTangle and you should rush over to see her happy moments as well as the other lovely ladies: MichelleNadine and Helen. Please do get involved by commenting or tweeting your #wonderfulwednesday.

Kate xx

Friday, 5 February 2016

When I Struggled

Did I call it depression or not? Should I?

Was I complaining about something everyone experienced?

Was I making a fuss?

Should I get help?

I didn't know what to call it.

I was always independent, strong, capable. Yes I didn't feel like I was any of these things, but I wouldn't have depression, would I?

I still don't know.

Maybe I should have got help.

When does immense sadness transverse into depression?

Where's the invisible line of I can cope and I need help? Because I think I may have danced it.

It nagged at the back of my brain, but there were so many other thoughts that I couldn't entertain it. I needed to get through or give up. Putting a name on it didn't matter did it?

But maybe that could have got me help?

I was in an endless cycle of confusion.

These were all thoughts I had before Christmas. As well as the feeling of failure and lack of worth I've already spoken about here, I had the above running through my head.

I don't think there's enough awareness of what determines a mental illness. When does it become enough to ask for help? Therefore there are many people pushing on forwards and coping as best they can when, with help, they could be better. I am not an expert. I still don't know. I think a lot of people aren't sure how to define mental illness. They don't want to be seen not to be coping. To be making a fuss over nothing. When this isn't spoken about we don't know. We don't know what bubbles below the surface for such a large proportion of the population. Let's keep talking about it!

Kate xx

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Wonderful Wednesday #3

Hello, my lovelies and welcome to the mid week boost that is #wonderfulwednesday. This week has been a little bit exciting and there have been some major events which I'll let you know about soon enough. Leaving a on a cliffhanger there, but I promise all will become clear. However now we're looking for those little moments that have made me happy this week. Let's not delay:

1. Fresh, new bedding. I'm not sure there's a better feeling than cuddling up after a hot shower in clean PJs and fresh bedding. It feels all crisp and snuggly and I end up with the best night's sleep.

2. The music of Frankie Valli. Jersey Boys is one of the best musicals I've seen and it introduced me to the music of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. If you've never watched the film I'd highly recommend it. If you haven't seen the musical, what have you been doing with your life? This week I've been falling back in love with it and I've been singing my way through the days.

3. Beautiful sunsets. I will never stop raving about how beautiful the sky can be. I am so lucky to live in a part of the world that is famed for its big skies so we make the most of them. I love your the sky is constantly changing, how minutes later you'll be looking at a completely different view.

4. Snowdrops. The first indications that spring is on the way. As I make my jolly way around the countryside I keep passing splashes of colour. Carpets of snowdrops and aconites and daffodils are blooming. Spring is my favourite season. It feels new and full of possibility so these flowers are really picking up my mood.

5. Eating what I feel like. All week I'd been craving a McDonald's. Now usually I eat healthily and try to regulate wheat I eat. However after playing a really hard game of cricket and aching all the way home when I saw the yellow arches I knew I had to stop. I guzzled those fries like they were going out of fashion and fully enjoyed it. I believe in listening to your body and eating a balance of everything.

6. Being a proud big sister. My brother passed his driving test first time this week and I'm a huge amount proud of him. I went out for my first drive with him yesterday and felt so safe. Completely trust him.

Wonderful Wednesday is the brainchild of the beautiful Sally at SallyTangle and you should rush over to see her happy moments as well as the other lovely ladies: MichelleNadine and Helen. Please do get involved by commenting or tweeting your #wonderfulwednesday.

Kate xx